I'm a Terrible Parent, and I Don't Even HAVE a Kid Yet

Perhaps it is a morning routine I am not proud of, but while eating my mini wheats I often surf the news channels, usually stalling on HLN news, because I love the erratic, quick paced, headline only style. As a matter of fact, I requested to watch this channel during labor, instead of music. I'm kind of obsessed.


Anyway, this morning was just NOT the morning for the obsessed pre-parent to be watching, I guess. I'm already reeling from the idea my baby might be underweight, despite assurances from everyone AND the doctor. We have an ultrasound next week to check on her. Of course, she's made measuring her in utero an almost impossible task with all her contortions she performs for the doctor. And as the doctor pointed out, I'm a little person. She'd be MORE concerned if I was measuring big because she is afraid I couldn't handle popping out a 9 pounder. My husband and I were both small babies. In fact, I was smaller than my little sister, (who ironically grew to be 3-4 inches taller than me, too). I'm going to have a midget baby. Unfortunately, that still reflects poorly on the mom, who is nurturing and growing the kid. Did I eat too little? Or too MUCH crap and too LITTLE good stuff? Is this related to the time I forgot to take my vitamins? Or the fact I was sick and dehydrated, which can lessen amniotic fluid, which can affect baby growth?? Is it the glass of wine I drank at my wedding???


Well, that's what goes through the anxiety ridden mind of an anxiety afflicted momma.


But then HLN had to put the final nails in the coffin. First, there is a giant recall for Fischer Price toys. Which I had to go investigate what the heck toys we even have since of course, I got them all as gifts, I don't know. I didn't find anything suspicious (I'm still researching a few items, just to make sure, since some things I don't understand the purpose of the recall--like the floor gym for tummy time. We have one. What makes it different than the one they mention??)


But then the kicker... they took away my sleep positioner!!!

I didn't even know I wanted this stupid thing 9 months ago. But then when we started investigating parenting, I read like three articles talking about SIDS and how sleep positioners boasted to help prevent babies from rolling. Early rolling can cause suffocation, even on a bare mattress, if a baby can't move her head (or doesn't move her head), during sleep. Mine even has an elevated base, so that helps with food settling, too, since baby's stomachs are sort of like untied water balloons--it's very easy for them to have reflux of milk or stomach acid. I felt like a very intune, good momma... considering I did my research before deciding to use one. There wasn't a STITCH of bad info out there. Even the American Pediatrics Association didn't say anything bad, persay, just that they didn't have anything to support the claims to say it was better--and that a bare crib was just fine.
So after the FDA decided that these were not safe...
http://www.fda.gov/ForConsumers/ConsumerUpdates/ucm227575.htm

I decided that they weren't safe either (except only 12/13 babies have died from them over as many years, which seems more like user error than anything else). Granted, babies who died were positioned incorrectly, and the product was being used for side sleeping as opposed to back sleeping, which is how we intended the usage, we both feel better making the decision not to use it.
My opinion has long been that cavemen had babies, and some of THOSE babies somehow survived despite not having the FDA and APA and CDC and all that jazz. Most deaths of infants still go back to parents who were not using products correctly (see the sling controversy, which STILL makes me angry) and/or who did not supervise their infant appropriately. It only takes a second, though, I am aware.
We feel better knowing we have one less thing we can possibly screw up, and we will return our positioner tonight and put the money towards those awesomely expensive gifts on our registry no one thought to gift us. ;)
Baby Claire responds to this by thwapping me repeatedly directly in the belly button several times over. Did I ever mention I have an extremely sensitive belly button? And how touching it on the outside hurts, but hitting it from inside is like absolute torture? Good call, kid. Good call.