Old Wives Tales Don't Work, Do They?

I don't think there is a woman who reaches her 39th week of pregnancy and starts to mourn the idea her 9 months are almost over. Me personally, I've been ready to end this for 5+ weeks. To me, the idea that I can count to my due date on one hand (and after today have spare fingers to pick my nose), is horrific.
So what's a girl to do?
Hit the internet.
Old wive's tales are all over the internet. I've peaked at them, and seen them listed in my books, but I've never had the slightest interest in any of them. Until now. Because short of a crow bar and a plunger, I see no way to end this stalemate. Now suddenly, some of these ideas don't seem so stupid. They seem hopeful! They cry out from the screen as a flashing neon sign to freedom! So I've been trying a few this week. Obviously since I'm still pregnant (STILL PREGNANT), none of them have worked. I didn't even dilate more. Picture my face at the doctor's office when I proudly rattled off all the stuff I've been doing for the last week, so I'm SURE I'm more dilated, just to have her inform me that unfortunately, no I'm not, and that doesn't work in all cases.
So here is a fun (FUN... sarcasm) list of things I've tried, or for now ruled out, for you to laugh at what my last week has looked like.

1. Football Game
This is mixing a lot of elements. An important event (to look forward to, to fear missing, etc). Missouri played Oklahoma this past Saturday. I've gone to all the MU home games, however, it's gotten progressively harder. I love it so much, I can't not go. So I packed up my black and gold and got my butt to Memorial Stadium, imagining all the while I'd have my water break or start contractions, and I'd never even head home after this. Turns out all that walking, screaming, jumping, cursing, cheering, and standing and sitting abruptly did nothing. This is where I started to doubt that walking helped with contractions. Because if I could walk that distance and climb that many stairs (and run/speed walk to a very sexy port-i-potty right in front of my dad and husband like I didn't even CARE that it was a port-i-potty), and I didn't have one contraction, I should have known something was up.
So. Important events? High stress? No baby.

2. Walking in General
We've been taking walks every night. I even walked around the mall between doctor appointments yesterday in Columbia, when the doctor promised (PROMISED) I'd have contractions because of my exam and who knows (quote) it might just jump start something for me (*expletive(s) deleted*). Between the walking from Saturday, then the walking all week, I should be so dilated the baby falls out. I guess it's good exercise. And it's been fun to go on such lovely walks with my husband (we don't take the dogs, just in case something awesome happens, because I'm not walking them back between contractions).
But walking? I think it helps when you're close to labor. For me? Big zero.

3. Spicy Food
I've never been adverse to spicy food. However, I've never had heartburn like I've had in pregnancy, which has made me question the use, purpose, and idea of spices on any food ever again. I can't eat strawberry jelly, people. I've gone through an industrial size container of Tums. So at this point in pregnancy I've basically been avoiding the terribly spicy, just to save the heartburn sure to follow. Throwing caution to the wind, however, my husband made mildly (mildy my ass) spicy hamburgers for dinner this week. Lots of spices. I will say that my fears about heartburn were confirmed when nearly 24 hours later I still felt like I was burping fire, but no baby. I'm not completely done with this torture (yes, you heard me, I'm going back for more), as tomorrow, barring a baby tonight, we are going to Bangkok Gardens for lunch. I haven't had that food in a long time, for good reason. I'm excited because I love it. I'm more excited because maybe that'll smoke the baby out. I wonder if Tums stumps that process... because I'm bringing it with me.
Spicy food? Going back for more, but I'm pretty sure it's just because I'm hungry.

4. Sex
You heard me. How a whale can even imagine having sex, I don't know. I now am not so surprised that scientists and marine biologists and whatnot cannot catch certain species of whales mating. There can't be one graceful, pleasant thing about it. And I was right. And it didn't work.
Sex? Ahahhahahahahaa... might get the baby in there, but sure doesn't get the baby out.

5. Castor Oil
I didn't try this. Not that I've ruled it out. I'm getting desperate. But they warn on the internets that castor oil can cause just plain upset tummy (and the baby doesn't move, and you don't move from the toilet).
Still, it would give me something to do to pass the time.

6. Nipple Stimulation
Sounds easy enough, until you read into the nitty gritty and find out it's for 3 hours a day over a 2 week period. Who has that kind of TIME?? I did (shamefully) try this alternative thing I've only found in print once about heating up a towel and putting it on your breasts to help produce oxytocin or whatever. I used a blow dryer and a blanket. It was warm, which was nice. For all the terrible things I've tried, this was by far the easiest. However, just like all the other things I've tried, it didn't work. I've also tried taking scorching hot showers. I didn't specifically read about this helping, but hey, it's been cold in the morning.

So... basically that's where I sit for now. Still pregnant. Not nearly so hopeful as when I'd started the week. I know babies have to come out. But I really thought one of these things would work. Especially when you hear real women swear by one of them. I think every woman is different, and I think a lot of times these work when you're really close to push you over the edge (me, I'm not even in walking distance of the edge, despite all the walking from this week).
So. There you go.

New Hats, Same Crochet

So, my hat infatuation continues. I'm not sure what my obsession is--hat making has apparently become my hobby. Or my nesting. I'm excited that I was able to teach myself to crochet, so that's probably part of the problem too. My grandmother, as I've mentioned, crocheted quite a bit and was very talented. I am by no means in that league. However, I feel a connection just that I'm able to do it now, and I can follow simple patterns. These are some of the latest hats I've made. I used one of my old dolls for a model for them (I've unearthed all these old cherished toys and washed them... she looks pretty good for being nearly 30 years old, doesn't she?)
This hat came from my Stitch 'n Bitch Happy Hooker crochet book. I didn't want to attempt it before because it seemed difficult with the ear flaps. The directions didn't seem to make sense, but I just threw caution to the wind and did what the book said. What do you know, it turned out to make an actual hat. Here's a close up:
Then I went to ETSY and bought a few simple looking patterns. I'm not big into the website so I don't know all it has to offer, but it seemed really appealing to purchase something and get the patterns in my email the same day. I bought three patterns; I've made two of the three hats so far.
This is my favorite. It's a pink and white stocking cap (it's really hard to see the pink in the pictures... even with our new awesome camera. I think the pink I picked was too subtle, but it looks really cute in person). I made the 3-6 month size because the pattern said the newborn size wouldn't really fit past the first few weeks, and I really wanted this to be a hat to be used rather than just for a few cute pictures. However, after looking at it, I think it would still work early on for photos, even if I have to clip it in the back for a better fit. I don't think I'll make a smaller size, but I do want to make a red and black one and a yellow and black one for football games next fall. I figure with our football infatuation, Claire can wear these and support her favorite teams. I'd love to make a Christmas one before this Christmas because that would be too cute for our first trip to see Santa, but we shall see. Time runs short. If this is just a terrible fit, I might consider making the newborn size for Christmas. I'll wait and see though.
I made two of these jester hats, also from etsy. This multi-colored one is SUPPOSED to be the 3-6 month hat, but it looks huge. I hated the pattern. I actually had to email the seller to give me more specific instructions because it seemed like I was doing it wrong. Turns out, it's just a stupid pattern. It also eats up quite a bit of yarn (one of those times where I think a double crochet stitch would have been better than a half double crochet... less rows... less tight...). But the masochist in me wanted to make TWO!
THIS is the "newborn" size. It's STILL huge! Granted, I used a much thicker yarn for this (which is what makes it look so big, it's very thick), which I bought before I knew how much yarn it used. It's really heavy, but it's cute and warm. I do NOT recommend using this type of yarn for anything that requires stitch counting. I basically had to just assume I was doing it right because I couldn't really get a good count on stitches or rows. If I was smart, I'd have made notes and tallied the rows, but I didn't realize it would be an issue until I'd already lost count. I mixed in white for the trim and white for the tassels, just to break up all that purple. I originally wanted to make myself a matching scarf out of that yarn, also with the white trim (because I love little fancy scarves), but I'm practically out of yarn now, and I hated using it. We will see if I get daring enough to buy more and try it as a scarf, but right now I'm satisfied to never make this hat or use this type of yarn again.

I still have one more pattern I'd like to try. It's your basic beanie hat but it has ears you can put on it. There are so many possibilities! I thought about a cute pink and white one for Easter (if I can figure out how to make longer ears, that'd be even better). It would also be more practical as an every day hat with just tiny ears. I seem to have this impression that babies MUST wear hats... it seems every picture I have of me little has a hat. I'm sure I've made enough hats (plus bought enough hats) that my baby will never grow hair now, and I could probably sell half of my hat collection and still have a hat for every day of the week, but I'm trying to reason that it's helping me learn the stitches and is a hobby. It's fun to make them though!

Wally's Weekend Out

So we decided to take a little Baby-moon this past weekend to enjoy one last child-free weekend before we officially become parents. We decided to go to St. Louis and decided to bring Wally, our pug. Muriel stayed with Grandma and Mogwai stayed with a friend who also has a small timid dog. But we figured with Wally being the spoiled one who truly seems to be in-tune with all these changes, it might be nice to actually let him tag along instead of his normal stay at the puppy-spa (aka vet).
We were worried how Wally would take to hotel life. We took a couple of toys, including his favorite dinosaur. Of course, since Wally sleeps with us, so does Dinosaur.
Wally also made quite the impression at our hotel. We stayed at the Parkway Hotel in West Central STL in hopes there would be lots of great things within walking distance for all three of us to enjoy. Clearly Wally became quite the cosmopolite very early on. He took to hotel living like it was second nature. In fact, I think he's disappointed to be home with no elevators, no automatic doors, and no bacon for breakfast.
He learned really quickly where everything was. It cracked us up to see him run to the doors, and walk up expecting the automatic doors to open for him.
And even though Momma gets a little motion sick in elevators, Wally just can't wait to get on. So much easier than the stairs.
He instantly knew that the hotel room was 'his' and made it his own.
Wally also got a chance to take on the big city. We did a lot of walking while we were there, but we made a special trip to go see the arch. Wally was excited to see the arch, if for nothing else, there were a lot of people to look at there and a lot of people to marvel over our cute pug. Wally got up close and personal with the arch, just to make sure it was safe for us to be around.
Obviously it cleared his inspection (Wally Approved!). I love this picture... it's so dorky, but it looks like something you'd see with someone running for office. It was a little awkward to make that picture work, especially with my nine-month pregnant self practically laying on the ground trying to get the shot, but it was totally worth it.
We took on downtown after our arch experience. We saw tons of Cardinals fans (Wally prefers the Cubs, just like his momma!) but everyone can agree on one delicious thing, Starbucks!
Of course, Wally can't just sit on the ground like a normal dog, though. We stopped to enjoy our drinks and Wally got even more attention with his cuteness by hopping right up between Mom and Dad and sitting on a park bench with us.
And we posed together by the pink fountain to show off our supreme cuteness. Notice how Wally and the belly are conflicting elements! He hates my growing belly. It kicks him and takes up his snuggle space. But he can still make a shelf of it and take a quick picture.
We stopped by the river too, although it looked terribly dirty and kind of smelled. Wally wasn't too interested in getting closer (and who could blame him??) but he wanted a picture with the Mississippi river anyway. He also wanted to go to Illinois, but none of us were keen on making a trip to East STL, so this is the closest we got.
We had a great experience traveling with the dog. It was nice to have him with us, especially since I get so anxious when I'm away from him for long periods of time. It also gave us confidence that in the future we could possibly take him with us on other trips if we need to. The other two dogs were almost disappointed to come home--they had way too much fun on their adventures, too. Wally still seems to be in vacation withdrawl. He really enjoyed all the attention and perks (not so much the car ride). We highly recommend the Parkway Hotel for pet toting travelers, as well. Our view was awful, but everyone was really nice about the dog staying there. They also were nice about any noise he did make--very pet friendly. We didn't have one problem!
What a great weekend away from reality!! I hope Wally enjoyed it and remembers it--it's the last time he'll be the #1 kid in our lives! (oh, who are we kidding... ;) Wally will always be #1 to me )